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MINOS HAS SOME GOOD NEWS FOR THE WORLD!!!
I hope you took the time to visit Minos on this extremely important day.
- Mood:GREEEEEDY
MINOS UPDATE #161 SHAKE AND STICK IT
PAM PAM PAM PAAAAAAAAAAMMM: ANOUNCEMENT
We acquired a new mattress for the Dumb Bum Studio! Sleeping on the job has never been more comfortable and accessible.
Thanks to all the people who wrote to us this week. But if you INSIST we need to get on medication, at least tell us on which one. We do not need your half-assed intervention. We might also need to turn our spam filter back on soon.
It came to our attention that since we boldly advertised on William Hungs website years ago (Thank you Project Wonderful), many celebrities became Minos-curious and avid fans!!!!! So hi Bruce Willis, Carmen Electra, Judith Dench and Joe, Jim, Dalilah and Elvis (your secret location is safe with me. I will be dropping over next week. Keep me the guest room and do not trim the hedges. I do not want the Palins spying on our nude bathing this time. I gained a few pounds, I am self-conscious.)
The next comic is coming at 3-Dead-Turtles-Miles-per-hour. Do not look at me like that. They are on a slope, they will roll down eventually. Until then enjoy Chanukah or whatever you can enjoy, it is all fine by me and the turtles.
- Mood:
weird
A group of talented webcomic makers have joined forces to help victims of human trafficking. The Project is called Comic Creators For Freedom (sounds epic, doesn't it?).
Over 100 ARTISTS have donated their time to create a gorgeous art piece, a BEAUTIFUL WALLPAPER that you receive as a GIFT if you donate to this important cause. 100% of the donation money will go to 2 Organizations that help victims of sex slavery and exploitation.
The Donation Drive is from January 9 to January 20. If you want to learn more, click the image below!!!
Thanks for reading this message! Sorry for posting this so late, I hope you'll have the time to check it out. :)
Anyone remotely involved with Minos knows the importance of freedom by now. It's probably my favorite word in the dictionary. Followed closely by the word pizza.
We'll have a new Minos comic up soon. Until then, cheers to you all!
- Mood:
rushed
MINOS UPDATE #160 SANTA'S BIG BANG
So Minos learns the harsh reality about Santa: He does NOT promote violence, he draws the line at Mass-Materialistic-Consumption. Next year Minos should write to the NRA asking for a "special wink-wink" for Christmas. I don't know what he'll get, maybe an autographed picture of Tom Selleck in his favorite polyester speedo. It's worth NOTHING on Ebay; trust me!
Now that the Holidays are forgotten, and only the vivid feeling of disappointed expectations remains, Minos can go back to his chamber of hope. Being a room constructed to promote torture, Minos can expect a lot of pain! Get it? GET IT? He's gonna hurt. I'm sure all you sadists got it, loved it, and will be there for the occasion. After all, you did not book the Taj Mahal in Las Vegas for nothing! Of course since you're sadists, you'll understand me for delaying the comic on purpose... so often... (And yes I'm wearing my leather beret right now).
Next update will be two days ago. Now you know we'll be delayed, and you have no expectations. Love us for our sincerity, or Hate us for wearing nothing under our leather chaps!
- Mood:
sick
MINOS UPDATE #159 MINOS GRAB YOUR GUN
So here is 2012. Many of our readers write to us and complain about their lousy holidays. (It is not a surprise since a few years back we gave away Business cards at a comic convention. To save money, Dumb Bum recycled various business cards we found or stole from offices around town. We advertised Minos on the back of Cognitive Therapists, so helping people with their problems has been a regular activity of our staff since.) To all those people we say: "You had it good!" Look at how Minos spent HIS Holidays...
This is a new Arc of sorts, so comeback in two days for more!
Given that it's January 4th, most of you have given up wisely on your New Year's resolutions already. What were you thinking when you decided to give up your nicotine addiction? Donate your time to a worthy cause? Learn Swahili? That is why BEFORE you take any resolution, you MUST take the resolution to sober up BEFORE planning the year ahead! Minos took his resolutions as well. They are quite ambitious as you can see, but why take the easy road? Here they are:
1- Die!
2- Escape this rotten maze.
Obviously if he achieves one of his resolutions, he immediately fails at the other. So we predict a year of failure for Minos. We actually predict a year of Failures for EVERYBODY! Did you just burn your toast?
Friday is the day to be here again! Mark your calendar, it won't do it itself...
- Mood:
happy
MINOS UPDATE #158 NO GOURMET SUPPER
December. Where barrels get drained, creepy drunk wildlife crashes on your chimney, and things jingle that shouldn't... Our busiest month of the year!!! We are like Santa Claus, employing visual minorities for practically nil, and increasing our comic productivity by 3000%, and all that just to reward all the naughty fans! Yes you are the naughtiest of all the fans in the world! And if you are one of the nice ones, well we think you are not trying hard enough, you can do it, it's in you, so flip a few people you'll feel better... no. no, no, no! Do not flip the screen I can see you and it hurts my tender egotistic web-comic-maker feelings...
You might think that this update took longer than usual, but we have an update schedule to stick to, and since I purchased a gigantic 2 gallon mug, drinking all those 47 coffees takes longer and upsets my stomach. I thought the mug was smaller on the picture. I got it online from a Korean site that I understood nothing of the fonts, prices, or my legal obligations. But the mug was shaped like a kangaroo and you drink from the tail! Who cares about prices, just ship it!!! And it arrived, in a crater... It's a full sized male kangaroo mug... and a little too detail oriented to drink comfortably from at first. A month of vivid use later, I'm doubting it's a coffee mug, it is starting to look like an automatic water distributer for cattle. I will only know for sure once I brush up on my Korean and go through that 214 pages manual, with an extensive hazard section. So there you have it, don't buy stuff online. 16000$ for a coffee mug is stretching it. Dollarstore people, Dollarstore...
Next comic will be much sooner, since I will have already consumed 29 regular coffees by the time you read this!
- Mood:
okay
MINOS UPDATE #157 A WORTHY END
This gag is funny! Especially if your sugar level is above 11.5 mmol/L. If it is lower than that you were lazy walking around the neighborhood stealing your share of candy. How pathetic. Kids don't mind, they can't count yet.
But why do we think it is fair to ask a reader to vote for the bubbles? Because this strip is SSSOOOOO multi-directional. It can be about Minos' ability to climb a tree. Or maybe we are addressing the second zombie's fashion sense. Is that a belt on him? He's obviously over-dressing for the occasion. Or maybe it's about Poumplovich? So vote before I spoil it with my ramblings.
Next strip will update as our banner promises. After so many years, we thought it was a good idea to commit to a REGULAR SCHEDULE! All the other good comics are doing it, so now they can't deny us entry in their fancy meetings with cold sandwiches and fizzled out soda. We are living the High Life with Ryan North now! I never thought I'd see the day where I boogie with a dinosaur!!! WOW! I made it mom!!!! So the schedule is: Just read the banner...
- Mood:
scared
MINOS UPDATE #156 ARMS AT ARM'S LENGTH
I'll use this space to set the record straight, and to answer the pesky emails we got this week. YES, all the Dumb Bum Crew (Me included) feel terribly sad and much sorrow over the death of Aleksandor, our short-lived foul-mouthed feathery friend. And NO, we do not feel guilty for his death. Our lawyer said: "He knew how to talk, he could've asked for food!".
Let's see who Minos is going to kill first: Himself or his options?
One way to find out, we should update... It's always up to me to keep the party going. Luckily I have an abundance of experience with torture chambers, so Minos is in good hands, and in good whips. So next comic will be soon. My psychic said it will be on Sunday, but he also said that I would be crowned Miss Congo 2007... I have been keeping my fingers crossed. If the other 87 candidates are all found in embarrassing situations, and thus disqualified... I was 88th in the 2007 pageant! (Yes, that was before they specified that Miss Congo had to be female, and related to Congo, and not me in any way.) So let's see how good my psychic is, but my bus driver has a good feeling for Wednesday. How many psychics will be thrown under the bus before I learn my lesson?
- Mood: good
MINOS UPDATE #155 THE BEST ARE TAKEN
Minos is here on time again! And that is because we often get our Tuesdays and Thursdays confused, AND we rarely read anything on our own website to correct our erroneous dyslexia. But before you get too pissed, you'll be relieved to know that we drew the comic on Tuesday. Coincidence???
That being said, you fans should be proud of us for doing anything! It is known that if you have special-needs children and they do "anything" you still encourage them even if it does not measure up to your neighbor's high-achieving brat. It's the reason why drawings of elephants that look like over-riped eggplants, end up on fridge doors regularly. If you can lower your standards for your own offspring, why should we get treated differently? We don't hear enough praise around here. It is very demotivating! We praise our readers all the time, twice as much as any other webcomic (I did my own stats and research).
To compensate, we purchased a trained parrot that praised us daily. It sure was a morale booster, but who knew it required feeding? I miss old Aleksandor. What a trash-talker he was! Here's a photo. It is not him because during the four days we had him our camera was getting fixed at the shop. It's just a look-alike, but the resemblance is striking, and the horniness to match. Don't feel sorry for him, he outlived many of our pet goldfishes.
For those who insist we talk about the comic, well ok. Minos should be thanking that decomposed stranger, he saved his life! We all know how miserable Minos would be if he was trapped there. Trapped within a trap! Forever (because we know how resilient he is to dying).
Next strip will be on Tuesday, so figure that one out yourself.
- Mood:between 2 Tylenols
MINOS UPDATE #154 BULL CHANCE
Well well well... Didn't we tell you that (and I quote myself for Wikipedia refuses to do it until I become Senator) "Minos will find what he deserves" in this strip? What better place to end his pain, by creating his own pain with devices proven to have successfully worked on others before him! True, they were maybe more resistant and desperately wanted to stay alive, therefore not very complying to the instructions of the devices, but I have a good feeling for Minos. He worked so hard for this one.
Can someone please send Poumplovich 5$ to bail him out of jail? I'm fed-up of him calling me, he has such a depressive voice when he calls from jail. Dude, don't bring all of us down just because your jail mate is grabby. I'll remind you that we need to write that peace treaty the UN begged us to get involved with, tomorrow is laundry day AND trash day, and we also have a suicidal character on our hands here! We need to keep our spirits up.
On the same note, Silvio Berlusconi stop calling me!!! I don't want any more orgies with you. I was only faking interest previously to meet Bob Geldof. Yes, all three times. You're not my type, but keep sending gifts, and an Italian citizenship would be nice for my efforts. And stop texting me "winks". I know what they mean, and the answer is NO.
Also, here are the answers Usain Bolt is anxiously waiting for (the answers are in the order you asked them friend): 63 or 64 will be ok. Yes, Silvio said that to me too. Chocolate and Pistachios but they don't make it anymore. I wouldn't do that if I were you, don't ruin your career, you have a good thing going there, please don't do what I did...
The next comic will be here for you next Tuesday. So gather a crowd, the fun will begin!!!
- Mood: awake
